The Man and The Preacher's Donkey

Far out in the West. A cowboy wanted to buy a horse for transportation. He went to the stables to see if they have one for sale. The stable hand says, " I don't have any fer sale right now. All I have here are boarders. There's a preacher in thet Church right over thar got one fer sale."
So the cowboy went over to the Church to see the preacher. The Preacher said, "Ya he's out in the back of the Church." Both fellows went to the back of the Church. What the cowboy saw back there was a donkey. So the cowboy desperately needed it to get out of town and so he bought the critter.

"Now that you bought my donkey with the saddle and bridle. I have to say that he is dad burn stubborn but he respect me. I will have to tell you the commands." said the Preacher. The Preacher whispered in the cowboy's ear and said, "If you want him to go, you say, 'Praise the Lord.' If you want him to stop, you say, 'Amen.' Please remember them." The preacher shook hands with the cowboy and said, 'Good Luck', and went back inside the Church.

The cowboy took the critter out of the corral, got on its back, took hold of the reins and said, "Praise the Lord." The cowboy was surprised when the donkey started off in a high speed gallop. The cowboy panicked, jerking the reins and kept yelling, "WHOA, WHOA, STOP, STOP, WHHHOOOAAAA!!" The donkey kept going in a high gallop for many miles.

Finally, the cowboy remembered the command and yelled, "AMEN!" The donkey screeched to a halt. The cowboy, now releived and slumped forward on the donkey. Looking over the donkey's head, and realized that the donkey had stopped right at the edge of the cliff and saw a 1000 foot drop below the cliff.
He sat back on the saddle, took off his hat, wiped his brow and said, "Praise the Lord."


 

The Bricklayer and the Barrel

Dear Sirs:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident form, I put "trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, so I trust the following details will suffice.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a six-storybuilding. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over.

Rather than carry the bricks by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the building just above the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground floor and untied the rope. Holding it tightly to ensure the slow descent of the 500 pounds of brick. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 145 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind, and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of the bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I landed on the brick pile and, fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope. The empty barrel, weighing more than the rope, plummeted down on me and broke both my legs.
I hope I have furnished you with the information you require.

 

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